What The Heck?!

So yesterday I got a message from my friend's older sister. She and my friend are both pk's (pastor's kids).Her son and I share a birthday and she wanted to know what I was doing on our special day. She also asked how my parents were handling my "life changing decision". I wasn't really sure how to answer that. I mean I knew what the answer was but these days I want to be careful of who I trust with what. I told her that they thought I was doing this to them and that we'd gone to some ex-gay therapy. This was her response:

Hahaha! Yeah Indiana is probably nobodies first choice, lol! Do you love UCLA? I'm sorry to hear about the chasm between you and your parents. God is going to hem that gap one day. Do you want kids? In telling you, it wasn't until [husband] and I had [son] (he's great by the way) that we started to understand the job of a parent. I wish all of our parents were perfect but I realize that our parents are just us 30 years ago, trying to figure out how not to mess us up. Many times it's a failed mission and the pain they feel for seemingly not succeeding is only something you can experience once you become a parent. Saying all that to say, if you haven't already, attempt to see your parents for who they really are; they're you and me--they are two partially empty vessels trying to fill is up.

Anyway, love you and come visit me..,

She was pretty neutral but I like that she encouraged me to see my parents as humans and not omniscient. I also like that she added "if you already haven't". I feel like a lot of people assume that I haven't considered anything even when I say that I have. She's proved that there's a way to encourage without being condescending, so there. Not just saying that for my situation but wording and tone are very important with whoever you're talking to or whatever you're talking about, especially when there are feelings involved.

Yesterday I also put a status on facebook that read:

If I see "no homo" one more time... Just because you're nice, stylish, or pay someone a compliment does not mean you're gay. If people would stop making themselves vulnerable behind that phrase, people would realize that those are HUMAN qualities and not gay ones.

It got a bunch of likes and a few comments. The last of which was from a friend's mom who is the wife of a pastor and therefore a minister herself. She wrote:

Amen. God made us one and all...And we are created in HIS image! to love one another! 

It's short and simple, but boy is it sweet! When I came out to my friend, she said that if I needed a 2nd mom, her mom was available. I thanked her but I'm not sure if I really believed her. Now I can see that she knew what she was talking about. I probably won't be spilling my heart out soon because I don't want to put anyone in a awkward position between my parents and me, but just knowing that people I know stand up for unconditional love.

I got to thinking about it and I realized that these are the kinds of people my mom told me not to hang out with. Not specifically, but I guess they'd fall under the category of "those people" or at least borderline. And then I thought about all the people my mom told me weren't Christian or "real Christians": Gays, gay-enablers or anyone who thinks being gay is anything but sin, catholics, people who don't go to church, people who are pro-choice, and the list goes on. I'm sitting in my parents room watching tv and all of a sudden I thought to myself, "What the heck?!" How could she say all that? Cuz now I have to unlearn all that stuff. And it's not true! And I'm glad it's not. I'm still sitting here shaking my head.

In other news, first day of work was pretty great. Lakers totally stole my heart tonight. But just for tonight. Tomorrow I'm officially re-neutral. My mom also talked to me about starting back with "therapy" in July. I'm going to write down my biblical arguments in a little notebook I've reserved for that purpose since April. I have no intention in going back to ex-gay therapy but I realize that I don't choose my path, only how long it will take. Also working on finishing up my website. Only links left to go. 

Wishing you the very best

--Zay