Rainy day doubts

So...idk if this happens to anyone else. I can only speak from my own experiences but there are some days when I feel like I need an epi-pen filled with T in order to breathe and get through my day, like I could just drop dead from angst, frustration and holding everything in with a put-together appearance. Other days, like today, I feel like one day I'll be able to look at my body and not feel like jumping off a building or that maybe I can just live with the constant depression but I know deep down that I can't. I just envision myself losing everybody. If that happens, my depression won't get much better, ya know? I ordered my binder and they shipped it yesterday so maybe that will help. I wish my parents were more interested in my happiness. That would make it easier. Right now it seems impossible because instead of throwing me out or pushing me away they're grabbing hold for dear life and I don't know how to continue my life.